RANTS

RANT 5 MAR 22 '02

OK, the first thing you’re going to notice, is that this is not about music, or CDs… it’s about DVDs. I know this isn’t a DVD web site, but it’s MY site, so I’ll piss and moan about anything I want. Now, I don’t mean to get off on a rant here, but what the hell is up with "Special Edition" DVDs coming out 6 months after the regular edition? Now, if you don’t buy a lot of DVDs, you’re probably thinking "who gives a shit?". Well, here’s the problem; movie fans like myself will go, with their hard earned money, and buy the DVDs of their favorite movies, the day they come out. Then, you just put the fucker on your shelf, and your fiend calls saying, "guess what there’s a Special Edition comin’ out next month, a 5 disc set with trailers, a commentary, a making of feature, 50 out takes, 6.1 surround sound, 100 deleted scenes, 3 hrs of restored footage, and it’s all gold plated, and signed by the star." This is when the vein in my head starts to throb like a 14 year old boy’s prick, the first time he sees Pamela Anderson on TV. So, now I’m sitting here with this lame-ass, out of date, movie only version, that’ll piss me off every time I look at it… because I know I got screwed. So, what do I do, I can’t return it, I’m not rich, so I can’t afford 2 copies of the movie, and I can’t even sell the old one, because now everyone knows about the upcoming Special Edition! Why do we, the fans, the people who keep these pricks in $300 champagne, and $10 million mansions, have to go through this you ask? I’ll tell you, just so those Hollywood whores can get an extra 30 bucks out of ya. They know that a certain number of people will buy it twice, so the pricks purposely put out one version, wait a little, and put out the second. They already made millions on the flick, but hey, why not bend the fans over a table, reach in with their big greedy fists, and pull another few bucks out of their ass? Well, no more for me thanks, I’ve been busted too often. My ass is bleeding like I just starred in a porn movie called "Butt Shredder 5 : Sphincter Annihilation". From now on, I’m not buyin’ anything unless it has at least 3 discs, has at least ten hrs of extra footage, and costs about a months salary… but you know, I soon as I place it on my shelf, the 4 disc version will hit the stores, and the Hollywood whores will laugh and laugh. END OF RANT.

RANT 4 AUG 16 '00

I don’t mean to get off on a rant here, but what is up with bonus tracks on CDs? If you are a serious music collector in the realm of Metal or Punk, you know what I mean. It seems like every CD that is ever released in Japan has extra tracks compared to the US or Canadian version, and if you're like me, you want those extra tracks of your favourite bands. The problem is the domestic CD is $15.00, and the Japanese version will run you $30, $40, or more! What the hell is so special about Japan? Why do they get all this extra stuff? You never see something that says "US release comes with 4 extra tracks" . The latest Misfits CD "Famous Monsters" for example… US version has 18 tracks, Japanese version has 20, and the European version has 21! Its enough to drive you fucking batty! I just picked up the Japanese version of the new Almighty CD… I won’t even tell you what I had to pay for one extra tune. Now the new Halford CD "Resurrection" is out , but guess what, the Japanese pressing has 2 extra songs, so there goes more $ out the window. Not even the UK version has these songs, and Halford is from the UK! That’s just retarded! Its not even like the record company is getting this extra cash, most of the high price is for getting the damn thing half way around the globe to me. SO… if there are 20 songs, and they fit on a CD, then put them the fuck on! Don’t put 12 here, and 15 there, and then 20 somewhere else. And if you (slimy record company jerks) have to do this… tell the public when the CD comes out! Nothing is worse than buying that new CD, then 2 weeks later finding out the European one has 3 extra songs, a poster, back stage passes, a solid gold case, and a coupon for free sex with Penthouse Pets! While were on a roll… CD and 7" singles… you money grubbin’ bastards! Punk bands that release the same 7" single 6 different ways, with different covers, or different wax, and the same damn songs! What a nightmare! And CD singles… the wife is a big Sting fan, so natch’ we have to buy every thing this guy has ever touched, and what does he do… 3 versions of every single with one different song on each. Thanks, that’s just great… welcome to B-side hell. END OF RANT.

RANT 3 DEC 14 '99

Well, I don’t want to get off on a rant here but … What-in-the-crap is up with all these pathetic manufactured "Boy Bands" out there! Is Rock dead? I think it just might be. Rock, Punk and Metal is now the music of the parents. Kids just seem to want to conform to the New Kids - NSYNC - 3 Deep, wuss groups, that the media giants push in their face. Where is the spirit of rebellion and freedom? These "bands" are a plague on the music scene, and the cure seems no where in sight. Sure some kids are playing the few heavy bands that are pushed, like: Rob Zombie, or Korn, and somewhat keeping the spirit alive, but the other 99% are spinning watered down Rap, the Moffets, and the Back Street Boys. There are so many good bands that never reach the masses, because the media is not behind them, like Love/Hate for example. These guys ARE "The Spirit of Rock", but you will not see them on MTV because they are not sappy Pre-teens, or PC. The future is looking very scary my friends, and only you can change it. Get out there and buy some "real" music, call your video and radio stations and demand something heavy, .... or at least something with a guitar. YOU must defend the faith, or no one else will, and we will end up in a world of nothing but well mannered, tanned 12 year old little boys singing the most boring love ballads they can produce out of their asses. So WAKE UP kids! You are being sold one big load of boring crap after another. There are more than just the Spice Girls and Boy Bands to choose from. Try venturing into other parts of the CD store, they might call it Alternative or Metal, or Punk, or Rock ... what ever they call it , try something new, with no cute boys blowing kisses at you on the cover. Don't be controlled!! END OF RANT.

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RANT 2 SEPT 24 '99

Well, I don’t want to get off on a rant here but … What the hell is up with moshing these days? I come from the old school mosh pits, when full blown slamming or the circle pit would get going. These days it is just some lame ass jumping up and down, christ, I can do that by myself at home. The MTV generation has seen too many lame ass videos from these weak "alternative bands" that can barely generate any energy from the crowd with their sappy, folky music, the audience knows they are supposed to mosh (cause they saw it on a MTV video) and jump up and down like drugged zombies. So after viewing 1,000 of these shit videos, they go to any live show and emulate the behaviour they saw on TV.
Well let me tell you to your face, your NOT moshing. I don’t know what you would call it… "Conditioned Response Jumping" I guess …. Very boring. Moshing is about freedom, its primitive, exhilarating, dangerous, adrenaline producing, frenzied, violent, you have to feel the music and just let yourself go. Now don’t get me wrong, when I say violent, I don’t mean that people are out to hurt each other, it can happen, but that is not the intention. It is like an ancient tribal dance that was pushed one step further than it should have been.
Today people will mosh at anything, even the lamest main stream gig (Tori Amos) will have people moshing or C.R.J.ing . How can you mosh to this? You need something heavy to drive the beat like tribal drums into your brain. Slayer show = moshing, Tori Amos = sit your ass down. Moshing is like the punk/metal version of a standing ovation. If the band does not deserve it, don’t mosh, make them earn it. If they suck, don’t move, nothing is more insulting to a heavy band with the volume cranked to 11, and everyone is just standing there, staring at them in shock at how crappy they are.
Now some tips, cause I see a lot of stupid shit go down at shows these days.
1. If you are small or weak, or don’t want to be caught in a pit, then don’t try to go to the front of the stage for a Fear Factory show, cause guess what, your going to be in big trouble. I see all these people (often small girls in big heels complaining about the moshing in front of the stage, and I thinking, what the fuck did you think was going to happen? A bake sale?
2. If you want to mosh, and your standing in the back with people that are not moshing … move the fuck up front! Don’t just start freeking out and slamming people that are not expecting it. (I see this shit all the time ).
3. Crowd surfing …. Keep your Docs up in the air ass hole.
4. P.A. Stack/Balcony Diving, hey, I’m all for it, but warn the crowd that you are doing it, and don’t do it feet first onto someone’s head.
5. If you see someone on the ground, pick him up, trust me, he is not down there on purpose.
6. Take off your spikes ass hole.
7. If you get hurt, don’t sue the band or the venue and ruin it for the rest of us … you knew what you were doing when you entered that pit and you know it!
So the bottom line is stop C.R.J.ing, that’s for Rap shows. (however I did see some serious moshing at an Ice Cube gig : ) If you are going to a heavy gig, (Rob Zombie, Napalm Death etc. … not Enya) and think you have the guts, then do some real moshing, just use your head. And if you think it is getting too much for you, get out! END OF RANT.

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RANT 1 SEPT 23 '99

Well, I don’t want to get off on a rant here but … I went to see Coal Chamber / Machine Head and Slipnot last night (they kicked total ass) but at the ripe old age of 30, I was the oldest one in the crowd by far. What’s wrong with older metal fans? Are you afraid to go out at night? Are you trying to "act your age" or are you that scared of putting down that Maiden 8-track to try something new? Open up your ears, so what if metal today sounds a little different, its the same fuckin message - party - have fun, and fuck authority! There are a ton of great new bands out there, so grab your walkers and head down to the old gramophone store and take a chance. Try Coal Chamber, Type-O-Negative, The Space Age PlayBoys, Six Feet Under, Sundown, Sevendust, Madball, or Gluecifer etc. You can only play that Foghat 8-track so many times. On the other hand, the young kids have no clue what has happened before them. During the show last night, as Machine Head left the stage they started playing Metallica’s "Ride The Lightning" CD over the PA system, and I kept hearing from the crowd, shit like "this is good, who’s this?" WTF!!! That should be required listening just to say your a metal fan. So you kids get your asses to the record store as well, put down that Korn or Limp Biscut CD, put on your baggy ass pants, skate board over to the CD store and pick up Slayer's "Reign in Blood", Metallica's "Kill em All", W.A.S.P.’s 1st, Love/Hate’s "Black Out in the Red Room", Circus of Power’s 1st, Warrior Soul’s "Salutation From The Ghetto Nation", Guns n Roses 1st, the Misfits box set, Celtic Frost's "To Mega Therion", Voivod's "RRROOOAAARRR", Motley Crue's "Shout at the Devil", Obituary's "Slowly We Rot", Megadeth's "Peace Sells, But Who's Buying", Testament's "The Legacy", plus tons of others …. Ask your Dad which ones to get, he'll know : ) The bottom line is that there is 30 years of metal / punk / hard music, what ever .... embrace it all. END OF RANT.

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